As I write this, there’s a public works guy about 50 feet behind me, thinking this exact thought, “Who’s that freak in the tree?”
Last summer, when we moved to the burbs, I had the ingenious idea to build a tree house with my son. In my mind, it was meant to be a time to bond, a time to create a memory for my son that he’d pass down to his own children. It didn’t happen that way. My post from last year explored the whole debacle, and how my son couldn’t have cared less about the tree house in plan, construction, or product. It turned out I was just forcing “fun” down my son’s throat.
So here we are, a year later. In fact, this is probably very close to the time of year last summer when we bolted that first brace into the towering evergreen at the edge of our yard. And now the house sits dormant. Except for those rare early mornings when some creepy middle aged man can be spotted up there, doing god knows what.
That guy is me.
That’s because when you have a tree house in your backyard, which you spent a collective 100 hours building, you need to do something with it. The thought came to me when one of my friends visited us for brunch last Fall. He climbed up into the tree house, and exclaimed, “This is amazing. You should come up here sometime to meditate.”
I laughed. That was hilarious. I’m a grown-ass man. Like I’d actually climb up there in the morning to meditate. And yet a few weeks later I found myself grabbing my cushion and headed up into the tree. I was completely self-conscious. The tree house has windows on all sides, built almost like a look-out, from which you can see around on every side. So, even sitting on the floor, I could be seen from down below. To make matters worse, the tree’s set on the edge of our property, some 10 feet from the side of the road. Any passersby can look straight up into the tree from the road below.
But, I bit the bullet and I sat up in the tree that breezy Fall morning, and it was great. The calm of the outdoors, the birds singing in the trees, the sun glinting through the leaves.
Then the cops showed up.
I couldn’t help but notice that just minutes before I was set to end my sitting, there were blue and red flashing lights bouncing off the bare wooden studs surrounding me. I froze. I turned my head ever so slowly toward the street and spotted an officer emerging from his car, heading toward the guy he’d just pulled over. Whew! They weren’t here for the freak in the tree. But at that point I knew they probably hadn’t even seen me. So, how the hell was I going to get out of there? I silenced my timer, which was set to go off with a bell, and literally crawled out of the tree house on my belly, slunk down the steps, and ran back into the house.
My first messy visit up into the tree wasn’t my last, and I spent many more mornings up there. But up until now, I’d only used it for meditation. This morning, I knew that to get any writing done, I’d have to sneak out of the house before anyone woke up. But, without a dollar in my pocket, I wanted to avoid the coffee shops. So, I got the idea to grab my laptop and head into the tree.
I’m up here now, and I’m quite enjoying it. In spite of the public works guy leering behind me. Plus, I’m getting used to it. I nonchalantly sauntered up here just like I was heading to my front patio. I’m even perched up on a chair, so that the dozen cars and handful of joggers that have passed by have definitely spotted me. But at this point I don’t mind. The question is, how much longer can I do this?
For me, I don’t quite mind being the weird guy down the block, up in the tree. I think it has something to do with how stodgy this suburb is. There’s some deranged pride I take in being the guy up the tree. But, I have a family to think about, and a son’s reputation to uphold. For now, I’m sure it’s fine. My son’s only in first grade. But as the elementary years progress and he enters middle school, the last thing the poor kid needs is to be known as the boy whose creepy dad is up in the tree house every weekend.
For now, I’ll just go with it. I guess if I built this tree house based on my fantasy of what a kid wants, there must be some part of me that really wanted a tree house for myself. So, now I have it, and I might as well make use of it. At least until the cops show up again.